How the ACT Matrix Can Help With Big Life Changes
From the Email Bag
Wait how do you use the ACT Matrix for big changes?
I received a question from a participant of a training I did several months ago, asking me to expand on a point that was on one of my slides.
How do you use this matrix to help make big decisions and also to reflect about big changes/events coming up? He states this on the last slide right as he ends the presentation and does not expand.
My response:
Thank you for sending this over,
The ACT Matrix relies on variations of the 4 main questions which appear in each quadrant:
1. Who & What is important to me?
2. What shows up on the inside to get in the way?
3. What do I tend to do when I'm under the influence of that stuff that shows up on the inside?
4. What could I be seen doing to move toward what matters?
Large decisions or life transitions can become a "theme" for each of these questions. For example, a person thinking about if they should move across the country to another city might complete an ACT matrix while thinking about the potential big move:
1. Who & What are important to me about living where I do now? Who & What would be important to me if I moved?
2. What shows up on the inside as I think about this big move? (These might be harsh or critical thoughts: "You'll never make it.", "What makes you think you could pull that off?"
3. What do I tend to do on the outside when I am under the influence of the stuff showing up inside me? (My actions under potential rule governed behavior: Put off researching living arrangements; give up)
4. What could I do to move me toward what matters here? (Write out a pros & cons list, research schools in the area I am thinking of moving to, etc.)
Essentially what we are doing with the matrix is identifying when our behavior is under the control of our cognitive & emotional experience in a potentially problematic way, and contrasting that with what our behavior might look like if it were under the control (guidance) of values-based contexts.
A person struggling with a big move might end up not moving because they are pulled by the thought that they "Don't deserve a better life elsewhere."
Or, a person struggling with a big move might end up not moving because they carefully do research about both locations and decide that they want a safer place to raise their children with more opportunities for their own education.
Both of these hypothetical people end up not moving but for very different reasons, and at the end of the day these two decisions would feel much different for the individual who made them.
At its core, the ACT Matrix is designed to help you discriminate between choices under the influence of rigid, restrictive, survival based "rules", and choices under the guidance of open, expansive, purpose-driven values.
Hope that helps!
Jacob
If you ever have a question about an application of the ACT Matrix you can email me at Jacob@TheACTmatrix.com, and if you give permission I will also post your question and answer here (with our without your name).
Respectfully submitted,
Jacob Martinez // The ACT Matrix guy who isn't Kevin or Benji