This is my little guy, relaxin’
In October my spouse asked me if we could get a rabbit. I refused. Forbade it! See we don’t have any pets, and growing up my parents were fairly strict about animals. I had a few here and there, but always something small enough to fit inside a fish tank.
I absolutely, positively, did not want an animal living in the house.
But my spouse (Jet) kept asking me, because a friend of theirs was in a position where they had to give up their pet rabbit and it needed a good home to go to.
So in November I relented, and I was a grump for about a week when Charlie first arrived.
It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with Charlie. Turns out rabbits are the best pets ever. He’s free roam, which means that he doesn’t have a cage and can go anywhere in the house whenever he wants. It’s just like having a cat or a dog in the house (but way cuter if you ask me!).
One of the first things I noticed about having a rabbit is that everything they do—literally everything—is designed to help them survive, to escape danger. When you sit and observe a rabbit you can so easily see the evolutionary pressure that led to each of the characteristics and qualities of this creature.
A rabbit’s ears are always moving like satellite dishes searching for signal, a pin drop in the other room can put them on high alert. They sleep with their eyes open (Charlie is asleep in that picture above) so they can always watch out for predators.
You see, rabbits are the perfect toward and away machines. I’m not sure why I thought I wouldn’t like them. I’ve been using rabbits as metaphors for setting up the ACT Matrix since I first started using it.
I still use the classic rabbit metaphor presented in The Essential Guide to the ACT Matrix book, although I expand on it a bit and really hammer it in (for several reasons). I find that it is perfect for delivering the matrix to a first timer in a compassionate way.
While the traditional ACT matrix uses the terms Toward & Away for the horizontal line, those who have followed my work know I have reconceptualized the horizontal line as Survival—Vital. A continuum of safety and biologically necessary behaviors to behaviors that strive for a vital & meaningful life.
I still do use Toward & Away during the first presentation of the matrix to a client, and in basic ACT matrix trainings. Towards the third or fourth session with clients I transition into survival & vital.
Why survival & vital?
You can read more about why I prefer survival & vital to toward & away here.
Or you can watch this summary video I made to explain the rationale:
I am curious to hear your thoughts on the S—V Matrix, or on Charlie. Comment below. And if you like something about this post, share something about it, with a friend, colleague, or online.
// Jacob Martinez
P.S.
Some people have asked how they can tip a few bucks in support of what I do here, for coffee and things like that. I don't drink coffee, but my rabbit Charlie 🐇 eats his weight in hay and greens every day. Your support helps me keep the hunger machine at bay.